…Throughout the years together, we tried earnestly to talk things through if they bogged down. Any issues on the table were examined and we shared ideas about how to resolve concerns, disputes, or other matters of importance. These efforts continued – including our inspirations and ideals.
Tony shouldered whichever responsibilities he could manage and was awestruck at my capabilities. I empowered and encouraged him. Despite the puzzlement and distress he felt, we were a team.
My mother once told me that in order to have a good marriage the team of horses in harness should pull together; instead of two donkeys with their tails tied together. The notion of a 50%-50% effort was too idealistic for me; I believe that as long as partners do their best, the relationship is balanced.
There was only one short-lived quaver many years before when the earth had quaked again with Tony’s recurrent cancer. The onus fell to me then to boost our strength as a couple; holding us together when Tony was not strong in body or spirit. Earlier health issues were under control, I felt we would always muddle through as long as we held fast to each other.
The Alzheimer’s battle was different only in that the condition was one from which Tony would not recover.
Everyday people living everyday lives can always find opportunity for resurrection. Resourcefulness brings clarity to the forefront, like brainstorming sessions to develop ideas or zap new thoughts into old routines. We knew that being able to compromise and go with the flow was an essential ingredient to our recipe for an enduring marriage.